In My Veins
by dreamkent
Summary: Always rated M just to be safe. Everything from the show is the same up to near the end of season 9. Something happens that brings Lucas back into Brooke's life but what are the outcomes? Read more to find out what happens! Brucas.


**A/N: I know I have unfinished stories but I wrote this as a birthday gift to myself which is today and I wanted to share it with you! I hope you enjoy it and I promise I will get my stories updated soon. This one isn't my favorite but it will do! lol Enjoy and reviews are always appreciated and loved!**

* * *

"**Nothing goes as planned  
Everything will break  
People say goodbye  
In their own special way  
All that you rely on  
And all that you could fake  
Will leave you in the morning  
Come find you in the day  
Oh, you're in my veins,and I cannot get you out" **

**–Andrew Belle**

A woman in an ivory coat buttoned to the top of the collar hugged her neck and caressed the bottom of her chin. It was a cold morning, the coldest the small town of Colorado had ever experienced or so she heard. She walked quickly and gracefully towards the building and once she was inside, she took in a deep breath of air and shook off the cold. She swiftly unclasped her buttons that had been hugging her neck.

She walked over to the group of chairs along the wall where the sign clearly stated: _Please have a seat while you wait_.

The many times she has seen that sign and the many times it always made her stomach turn. She twisted her gloves in her hands and waited and waited. She hated sitting in this seat because this was something she thought she'd never have to do…sever these specific ties.

A lady came around the corner with a clipboard in hand and as her index finger scrolled down the list, she looked up and called out a name.

"Brooke Baker!"

The young woman frowned at the name as it once held an amazing place in her heart. She smiled and followed the older woman to an office with large glass windows.

They both took their seats across from each other separating them was a black desk.

"Davis. It's Brooke Davis now." The rasp in her voice indicated that the young brunette was exhausted as she brushed the stray bangs from her face and waited.

"I'm sorry. Divorce?"

Brooke was almost appalled that the woman would ask her that.

"Yes." She said through gritted teeth.

The older woman whose name placement on the metal desk read Pam Jacobs flipped through a stack of papers.

"What can I do for you Miss Davis?"

"I need to close my accounts." Her grip tightened around the gloves she's been holding in her hands the entire time she had been here.

"Miss Davis, you do realize that there isn't much to close out and that maybe-"

"I _do_ realize how much money is in my account but _your_ job is to do as I request or do we have a problem?" Brooke was in no mood to argue with this person who had bad teeth and ended up working in a small town bank. She's dealt with bankers before and knew how to handle her own accounts.

She _was_ and is Brooke Davis. That was another story to be told at a different time.

The woman gave the young lady a stare and did what she was told. She took her time, of course, but eventually finished the task Brooke had asked of her.

"Thank you." Brooke said as kindly as she could after being irritated by the woman behind the desk.

Brooke walked out of the office rearranging her coat to keep her warm. She slid her black gloves on her hands and prepared herself for the sting of the cold air that will smack her in the face.

Pushing the doors open, she stepped onto the whiteout streets. Her hills clicked against the sidewalk as they echoed behind her. She loved this town, the cold, and the people except for the lady in the bank.

She never thought she would end up in this place. It was a place where she was twenty seven years old and already divorced with two kids. She was promised the fairy tale. She was promised many things to only have all those promises shattered in millions of pieces that scattered across the world. Even if Brooke scoured the entire planet for all those pieces to put them back together, she knew it was a lost cause.

An older man walking a golden retriever walked past Brooke and smiled at her. She wasn't sure where it came from but she smiled greatly in return to the man as a polite gesture even though smiles were something she didn't want to display at the moment. She had finally reached her destination to the small store about two streets over from the bank. Once inside she ran quickly to the fireplace and warmed her nearly frozen hands. She was glad she stopped by first to get that started while she ran out to take care of her errands.

Brooke took in a deep breath and let the shiver run through as she became comfortably warm throughout her body. She walked behind the counter and let her fingers glide along the smooth surface and saw she had two messages on her machine. She hit play.

"First message."

"_Brooke, hey, it's Julian, I want you to call me back. We need to talk. I want to see the boys soon and you can't keep ignoring me. Please just…just call me back."_

Brooke shook her head at the message and a pain in her heart began to ache as she heard his voice as if he was standing next to her.

"Second message."

"_Brooke, sweetie, its Haley. I am calling to see how the store is doing and I spoke to Melanie earlier and she told me to call you here. I hope to hear from you, we miss you dearly here in Tree Hill especially Jamie. Call me soon, okay? I love you Tigger." _

"End of messages."

Brooke hit the delete button and the messages were erased. Brooke remembered exactly how she got to Longmont, Colorado. She searched on the internet for the friendliest town in America and came across several places listed but this one stuck out to her the most. Many people commented on it and explained where they moved from and how they ended up in this sweet town and Brooke was instantly hooked.

She knew she needed a fresh start, hell she's had three now. She looked around the room and smiled at her accomplishments. She was running her own store in the small town that consisted of the necessary and appropriate clothing for the Colorado weather. It was a success as she brought a new edge to the winter gear since especially the woman enjoyed it.

The woman from the bank still irritated her by her comments and whatever suggestions she was going to make after seeing her balance. It was the account she had with her married name. She knew there wasn't much in it because the divorce nearly drained her, but when she moved out Midwest, she started up a new account back as Brooke Davis. The four hundred and seventy-five dollars that was left in the Baker account was just the right amount of money she needed to get the twins some things for their birthday and get her a little something on the side for herself.

Some time had gone by as not many customers came in today. She called Haley and spoke to Jamie and did an inventory of the store. It was Saturday and there was some festival being held in Denver about an hour away but she wanted to keep the store open because she loved being here. She made herself a cup of coffee and sat behind the counter drawing designs in her sketchbook.

The bell dinged on the door indicating a customer coming in and she smiled as she began to look up.

"Hi, how can I—" She stopped mid-sentence as she recognized the stranger standing before her.

He had grown taller, broader, and older than she remembered. It had been five years since she last saw him. With his hands shoved in his jacket pockets, he took a step towards her as she stood frozen behind the counter.

"Hey Brooke."

She stayed still not really sure if this was real or not. She had tried calling him after what happened with Julian but he never answered. He, for some reason, was the only person she wanted to talk to when _it_ happened. He never returned any of her calls but had her best friend return his calls for him.

"What? What are you doing here?" She wanted to move but she was planted firmly in place.

"I came to see you."

Her mouth dropped open as she wasn't sure she believed him or not. It had been too long since they last spoke, touched, or been with each other. Trust was something she had little faith in these days.

"Why?"

"I'm sorry."

She wanted to slap him. She wanted to shove him, kick him, and scream at him. She held her ground.

"_Why_?" She emphasized fixatedly.

"Because I wasn't there for you and I…I feel awful." He took another step towards her and she took one back. This time she came around from behind the counter.

"It doesn't matter anymore." She stepped away from him towards the fireplace but he caught up to her and gently grabbed her arm.

"Lucas, don't." She turned in his grip and removed her arm from his grasp.

"Tell me what I can do? I tried calling you and looking for you. I had to twist Haley's arm to get her to tell me where you were. You're a very hard woman to find, Brooke Davis." The way he said her name, it still gave her those small little butterflies she once remembered.

"It wasn't hard. I just didn't want _you_ to find me." Brooke started gathering some personal belongings and decided that she was going to close up early.

She had only had a handful of customers come in since the store had been opened at nine. She didn't think it would be a big deal to close early and right now _he _was giving her every reason to do it.

"Brooke, I'm sorry." This only gave her flashbacks to high school to all the times he had apologized to her.

She hated, no, loathed, and abhorred him saying those words to her because in the end they ultimately meant nothing coming from him. It disgusted her, made her whole body cringe.

"Don't! Those words meant nothing then and they sure as hell don't mean anything to me now! So please leave. I have my family to get home too and you could have saved yourself a trip coming here. So go home to yours and leave me alone."

Once they were both out of the shop, Brooke locked up and started walking away from Lucas. This was the coldest she'd ever seen Longmont get even though she had been living here for almost two years. She heard him follow close behind her and she started to get really annoyed.

"Lucas, damn it, stop!" She turned so quickly that he didn't have enough to stop from running into her.

He hit her hard and she nearly lost her footing but he caught her, holding her by her waist and pulling her close into him. Just like that, she instantly remembered what it felt like to be in his arms and the ache, the hole in her heart grew a couple of inches wider. She pushed herself out of his grasp.

"Brooke!" He demanded of her and she punched him in the chest.

"DON'T!" She yelled at him drawing a small crowd from the people who were on the nearby streets. She looked around and tried to make it look like there was nothing to worry about.

"Just leave me alone, Lucas." Brooke started walking backwards slowly holding her hands out as if to a dog telling them to stay.

Lucas took one step forward and then stopped. She continued walking backwards never letting her eyes leave him. Finally, she turned with her back towards him and walked away.

Walking was something that calmed her and reassured her when she was alone. She craved it and needed it. Sometimes being alone with her thoughts made Brooke feel at ease but this time she hated it. After seeing Lucas, it only pained her and she hurried home to her boys.

Once inside her cozy home, her frown faded away and a great smile appeared on her face as she saw her four year old boys run towards her.

"Mommy!"

"My babies!" Brooke knelt down and wrapped her arms around her precious sons. Jude and Davis were her life now and that was all that mattered.

Melanie, someone who became a confidant and a great friend walked into the room and smiled at the scene of mother with her sons.

"Hey Mel, be honest were they well behaved?" Brooke looked down to the two boys who looked innocent but she had learned that looks can be deceiving with these two.

"Well…" Melanie began and the two boys groaned.

The two women laughed together and Melanie nodded.

"Yes they were sweet, little angels as always."

* * *

Melanie stayed a little longer and ate dinner with Brooke and the boys. Melanie explained that Julian had called several times wanting to speak to her but he spent time talking with the boys. Brooke would never keep Julian from his sons, that is the last thing she would ever do, but she would do whatever it took to keep herself away from him.

"How's Tom?" Brooke took a sip of her coffee trying to change the subject onto something that didn't involve Julian.

"He's doing great. He wanted to stop by but he got dragged into helping teach a skiing seminar at the festival in Denver, but he is looking forward to taking the boys camping tomorrow so we can give you some alone time."

Brooke frowned at her statement: _give you some alone time_. Brooke didn't want to be alone, not now, but the boys had become too excited for the trip.

"Yeah, I know, Jude and Davis are thrilled about it." Brooke looked into the other room to see her sons sitting together watching a television show.

"Brooke, what's wrong?" Melanie knew immediately that something was wrong with Brooke but didn't want to intrude but Melanie loved Brooke like a sister.

"A ghost from my past showed up today. It completely threw me off guard and I wasn't prepared for it nor did I even want to see this person." Brooke finished her coffee and let her finger run around the smooth edge of the cup's rim.

"I'm sorry. Do you mind if I ask who that person was?"

Brooke looked at her sons again and realized that Lucas has never met them. Jude and Davis do not know anything about him, Peyton or their daughter, Sawyer. It wasn't supposed to be like this. They had made promises to each other and they were broken the moment they were exchanged, Brooke knew that deep down.

"My first love, hell, probably the only boy I've ever _truly_ loved." Brooke caught her last words knowing what they meant.

Julian saved her from herself, from everything. Julian made things better, he improved her life, gave her everything Lucas couldn't and that's why she loved Julian. She loved Julian with all that she had in her but when he betrayed her…Julian made a vow that he would never do that, but he did.

"Wow, that's exciting."

Brooke looked at Melanie like she was crazy.

"I mean it's exciting in the aspect that, wow, I mean I don't even know what to say to that. Why did he come here?" Melanie became so intrigued with where this was going. It was like a movie or a great book. She became entranced by the story.

"I don't even think I really gave him the chance to tell me but it doesn't matter. I don't want to see him and I didn't want to see him then either." Brooke grabbed her cup and was about to get up when she saw the frown across Melanie's rosy face.

"What is it?"

"I mean, call me crazy, but old flames like that or the _one _I know you are referring to, just don't show up unless something has changed or something has happened. Maybe there is a perfectly good reason why he's here now. Brooke, maybe you should give him a chance."

Brooke wanted to scream at Melanie for even considering something like that but Brooke knew that Melanie didn't know the whole story and that if she did maybe she would think differently about the situation.

"I've read the book…I know some things." Melanie winked at Brooke.

"Then you would know that this would be the millionth chance I would be giving him."

* * *

The next day Melanie and Tom came bright and early to pick up the twins. Brooke gave big hugs and kisses to them both and sent them on their way. Melanie and Tom became the Haley and Nathan of Longmont. Brooke missed them more than anything. It was Sunday and the store wasn't open today so she decided to stay in and do something for herself.

She grabbed a book, sat next to the fireplace, and began to read. Twenty minutes had gone by and she became bored, not because of the book, but because her mind was somewhere else: on Julian and on Lucas. She wrapped the blanket around her and the nightmare flooded her.

"_You're kidding? Oh my goodness, this is amazing! I will… thank you so much!" Brooke had been at the café with Haley all day and Brooke finally got the call she had been waiting for ever since she sold her company, Clothes Over Bros._

"_What was that all about Tigger?" Haley wiped down a few tables while making funny faces at her daughter, Lydia, who was sitting contently in her high chair._

"_That was a potential investor of Baker Man. Hales, someone wants to invest in my kids clothing line." Brooke was still in shock. After everything that had happened with Clothes Over Bros, she wasn't sure anybody else would want to invest in her._

"_Brooke, that's amazing!" Haley walked over to her long time friend and pulled her into a hug._

"_I-I have to tell Julian." Brooke started grabbing her things._

"_Yeah, I'll close up and Nathan will be by later. Go on!" Haley smacked Brooke with the towel in her hand._

_Brooke hadn't been this excited about something in a long time, probably not since the birth of her boys. She hurried up the steps of her home and didn't see Julian but figured he was probably taking a nap. He had been working late on a manuscript the past few weeks and was probably drained. She tiptoed to the bedroom and when she opened the door, she watched as her whole life began to fall apart. _

_She saw a blonde woman whom she recognized ride her husband in __**their**__bed as he called out her name. The two people hadn't noticed Brooke in the room until she slammed the door shut behind her and they both jumped and stared at the brunette who felt like her head was going to explode._

"_Brooke, wait, I—"_

"_What!? You can explain!?" Brooke found herself screaming at intervals she didn't think was possible. _

_The blonde woman who Brooke realized was Julian's partner on the manuscript slink off of him and started dressing herself. _

"_I would dress a little faster honey before I kick your scrawny, little ass!" Brooke saw red and wanted to hurt someone. _

"_Brooke, baby, please!"_

"_DON'T! Don't you fucking talk to me! You both get the FUCK out of MY house NOW!" Brooke pointed to the door and the blonde woman started dressing quickly. _

_Julian remained calm in the bed not moving and he obviously wasn't afraid of Brooke. _

"_Brooke, please calm down." At Julian's poor choice of words, Brooke reached for the bedside lamp and threw it at him. _

_She grabbed the alarm clock and threw that at him also. _

"_Jesus!" Julian yelled at her._

"_I will not repeat myself again…Get. The. Fuck. Out. NOW! Before I throw something sharper towards a particular region I know you love so much." _

_Julian's eyes nearly popped out of his head as he grabbed his pants and bolted out of the room with the blonde woman. Brooke sank down to the floor resting her body against the wall. She couldn't believe this was happening. Why did this happen? Why hadn't she noticed signs of this? Through foggy eyes she reached for her phone and the only person she wanted to talk to was **him**. The phone rang and rang and she got his voicemail._

"_I…I…I don't know what to do…I need you, Lucas." Brooke dropped the phone and curled up into a ball._

She had tried calling Lucas several times to only get a call back a few days later from his wife and her former best friend, Peyton. She told Brooke that Lucas was busy writing his third novel and that he was swamped with work but that he suggested that Peyton call Brooke to see what was going on. Brooke was devastated because she thought that after everything they had been through together, that he would be there for her no matter what. She had been disappointed by him yet again.

Brooke didn't tell Peyton what happened. She made up some ridiculous excuse why she called crying and sounding like a lost puppy that night convincing Peyton that it wasn't really anything to worry about. Still, Lucas never returned her calls to check on her himself.

Brooke snapped out of her memory when she heard a knock on the door. She thought it was probably Melanie coming back to tell her that one of the boys left something behind. She wrapped the blanket around her body and headed towards the door.

When she opened it, she was shocked to see the person standing before her. He looked different from yesterday when she saw him. He looked clean, confidant, and shaved. Today, right now, he looks like he hadn't slept all night and possibly hasn't eaten either. His facial hair was growing out around his cheekbones and his eyes were a pale blue compared to their bright blue orbs.

"Lucas, what the hell are you doing here?" Brooke was almost concerned and disgusted by his appearance.

She made it very clear she didn't want to see him and yet here he was…again standing before her unwelcome.

"You said my words don't mean anything to you anymore and I stayed up all last night remembering everything that I promised you, everything that I've said to you in the past and you're right. My words _do_ mean nothing and in here." He pointed to his heart, "Here is where I'm truly sorry. I feel I can only show you and I am showing you now and always that I am sorry and I," he hesitated trying to find his words, "I don't know what else to say that would mean anything to you."

Brooke had learned a lot from her history with men especially Lucas Scott. In this moment though, as she looked into his eyes she saw that he meant every word he was saying because the last time she saw _that_ look was when his Uncle Keith was murdered and taken away from him. It was the only truth she knew was that look…that sincerity, hurt, loss, and fear of losing something so important and dear to him.

She stepped aside to let him in more so because she was freezing and he looked like hell. He gave her a questioning look and she nodded for him to step inside. He waited and then proceeded in and began to take in his surroundings.

Lucas smiled to himself as he imagined her home this way. Once inside he walked down a small corridor and to the left was the common area and to the right was the kitchen in shades of grey. The common area had burgundy walls, a shade of red which happened to be her favorite color. He walked further inside towards the fireplace and looked at all the pictures along the mantle and the wall.

He saw one of Brooke with her two sons and a huge grin came across his face and then a frown.

"What is it?" She asked him.

"I hate that I've never met them or spent any time with them. Are they here?" He turned to face her, the first time since stepping into her home.

She shook her head.

"No, they are gone for a couple of days camping with some good friends of mine. I call them the Naley of Longmont." Brooke chuckled to herself and Lucas smiled.

"That's nice. I hope to meet them."

Brooke walked over to the couch and made herself comfortable as she took in a deep breath.

"Luke? Why are you _really_ here?" She knew this couldn't just be about her. There was something else going on.

Wrinkles came across his face making him look older than his age, but wiser as well.

"You know…I thought moving away with Peyton and Sawyer would make things better. Better for us and to keep our daughter safe especially from the drama of Tree Hill." He sat down along the brick step next to the fireplace.

"But?" Brooke balled herself up and leaned in a little to listen to him.

"I want you to know that I felt horrible about never returning any of your phone calls. I really did but I, I figured that you had Julian and that was enough. It wasn't long after you moved that I found out from Nathan that you and Julian were splitting up. When he told me what happened I tried desperately reaching out to you. It seems, Brooke Davis, that you didn't want me to find you. You made Nathan and Haley swear to never tell me and that if they did, you wouldn't talk to them anymore. Typical Brooke." Lucas laughed to himself.

"Typical Lucas for ignoring me and putting himself first." She bit back and the frown reappeared across his face.

"You're right. I was selfish and I think my obsession of finding you caused a rift between me and Peyton."

Brooke's mouth dropped as she honestly didn't know how to respond to that. Lucas obsessing over her? Her, Brooke Davis, causing a rift between the true lovers? The boy and his comet? Broody and Moody?

"Obsession? You really spent all your time trying to find me without the help of Nathan or Haley?" Brooke couldn't believe it. This almost didn't make any sense.

"You know when I realized that things were turning sour between me and Peyton…guess what? I found myself dialing your number. The number that was no longer in service but it was you Brooke. It was you that I wanted to turn to, it was you that I wanted to confide in and seek comfort in. Brooke, I…I am so fucking sorry that I wasn't there for you and I began to feel what you probably went through knowing that the one person you wanted to be there for you wasn't." He ran his hands through his shaggy hair that began to curl around his ears.

"How did it make you feel?" Brooke wanted to know his answer, to see if it was anything like what she felt when he wasn't there for her.

"I was lost. I was devastated and scared. I had never felt more alone in my life than I did then. A part of me was missing and that part was always you but Brooke you are always a part of me…you're in my head, my heart, my veins. I hate that it took something like losing my wife to get me to realize that and I can't apologize enough for it."

Brooke was at a loss of words again by Lucas Scott. For once in her life she was completely dumbfounded and speechless. Lucas and Peyton weren't together anymore? What about Sawyer? Where did she belong in all of this? She stared at him for awhile and still saw that _look_. The look he had when he lost Keith and now it began to spread across his whole body.

"I won't have the boys for two nights; you can stay here until they come back. I was planning on ordering in but I guess I can cook." Brooke went to get up to start preparing for whatever she could find in the kitchen.

"Let me." Lucas held up his hands and Brooke went to speak but he was already out the door and she yet again was speechless.

What was going on? There was obviously so much for them both to talk about. She couldn't believe that any of this was happening. Like always when she was confused about the certain blonde who always left her guessing she called the one person who could always help her solve the puzzle that is Lucas Scott.

"_Hello?"  
_

"Tutor Mom." Brooke found herself whispering and she wasn't entirely sure why.

"_Tigger? What's going on? Why are you whispering?" _

"I don't know why I'm whispering," Brooke increased her volume a little, "but I do know that I am pissed that you told Lucas where I was after I told you it would end our friendship!" Brooke didn't really care anymore but it was the fact that Haley broke a promise to her.

"_You are right and I am sorry for that, but Brooke I felt like this was for your own good. You__need each other right now and I love you both so much that this needed to be done." _

Brooke almost wanted to reach through the phone and shake Haley until her head fell off.

"_Brooke, honey, I am tired of hearing the sadness in your voice whenever you call and the same for him. I don't think you realize what he went through trying to find you. Then Peyton, well, that cunt bitch." _

Brooke's eyes grew wide and her mouth dropped down with shock at the particular choice of words Haley had for Peyton.

"We haven't really talked yet…I, he just left the house and Haley, I think this is a mistake. I can't have Lucas swoop back into my life and not expect him to let me down when that's what he's best at doing to me." Brooke took in a deep breath trying to hold back the tears.

"_Well not to sound like a broken record but just let him. Give in to him Brooke, maybe just maybe you both can work through this and get back to the Brooke and Lucas I remember from high school because these days you aren't those sweet, happy people anymore." _

Brooke could always rely on Haley to give it to her straight but she also felt that Haley had a distinct bias towards her and Lucas. Then again Haley was there to kick Lucas's ass when he broke her heart…twice.

"Haley you know trust is a huge issue for me but I am going to go out on a limb here and trust you on this."

"_And if my wife is wrong I'll punish her and seek out Lucas and kick his ass!" _

Brooke laughed and felt at ease to her Nathan's voice in the background. She loved these two people so much that she wasn't sure what she would ever do without them.

"_Ha ha, Brooke, I love you and now I have to go punish my husband for eavesdropping!"_

"Ew, okay, I love you guys!"

"_Love ya, Brookie!" _Nathan yelled in the background before the phone went dead.

Brooke placed her phone on its receiver and wasn't sure what she should do now. That was something she was always good at doing: keeping herself busy. Now with Lucas around again, she seemed excited and nervous, but in a good way.

She went into the bathroom and freshened herself up. She put on some light makeup, fluffed her hair, and dressed a little more appropriately besides fashioning _Clothes Over Bros_ yoga pants and a tiny tank. She rushed through her closet and found an original Brooke Davis pair of skinny jeans and a soft green sweater that had a wide neck line making her figure look flawless.

Brooke spent a lot of time making sure she got her body to the way it was before she was pregnant with twins. If anything she thought she looked ten times better than she did before the pregnancy.

She walked into the kitchen and looked around and remembered she had wine in the fridge. She reached for the door handle and then stopped herself.

"What the hell am I doing?"

"I am not sure but I brought back food."

She jumped and rested her hand over her heart as Lucas scared the life out of her.

"You okay?" He asked sitting the brown bags full of food on the kitchen counter.

"Yes, I just didn't hear you come in or else you wouldn't have scared me and I wouldn't have nearly died of excitement." She turned to look at him and realized that this was probably a mistake.

Letting him back in her life, she just didn't know what that was going to bring her. She only could go based on experience and that was…Lucas always letting her down.

"Luke, maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I think maybe you should leave." The internal conflict was beginning to build inside of her and she wasn't sure what she should do.

Lucas took in a deep breath and gripped the edge of the counter.

"I know I don't deserve this but please…all I'm asking is for you to give me a chance. I realize that is a lot to ask from you, but please?" The innocence in his eyes is what she was used to seeing in high school. It was the first thing besides his hot body she noticed about him.

With her arms wrapped tightly around her, she nodded and he gave her a weak smile.

* * *

She had watched him as he made himself comfortable in her home especially her kitchen. It was like he was supposed to be here. It was like he knew where everything was: every pot, pan, dish, and utensils. It was almost to the point where she wanted to scream at him for knowing her and her home so well.

Brooke helped herself to that wine she was going to share with Lucas but decided she would drink it alone.

"How about you slow down and stop staring." Lucas never took his eyes off the task before him.

Brooke scowled at him.

"Excuse me but this is my home, my kitchen, and if I want to drink and watch you then I will." She drank the last of her glass and went for a refill.

Without taking his eyes off his chicken, he grabbed the bottle of wine away from her.

"Wait until dinner is ready please?" He asked genuinely and quietly.

She gave him another 'fuck you' look and rolled her eyes.

"Can I at least have one more glass and then I promise I will wait?"

Lucas almost didn't believe her so that's why he only filled her glass halfway. She rolled her eyes at him again and went to watch some TV to kill the time.

Brooke had fallen asleep and was awakened by the amazing aroma of chicken and mashed potatoes…which she knew very well was Karen's recipe.

"Ah so sleeping beauty finally awakes." Lucas had set the dining room table up for the both of them.

"Is something wrong?" He asked stopping what he was doing as he saw her frowning.

"No, it's just…that chinaware you are using was a wedding gift from Julian's mom. I've just…I haven't used it since Julian and I were together and the boys and I usually just eat where we please and the little company I've had over…I've…just never used it…here." She ruffled her hair and Lucas paused.

"I can put it away."

They both fell into an uncomfortable silence. Brooke went silent because the dishes were a gift on her wedding day and Lucas because he knew he brought up something he knew she didn't want to talk about.

"No, it's fine! I love those dishes, I just, I think it's appropriate to use them now." Brooke went for the wine again and noticed that in one of the other brown bags he was more wine.

"Oh, so even though I had my own wine, you brought some as well? Lucas, are you trying to get me drunk?" Brooke poured herself another refill and grabbed Lucas a glass.

"Well now, pretty girl, you've already started drinking…"

They both heard the old, almost forgotten nickname come out of his mouth and they both froze and stared at each other.

"I…I'm sorry." Lucas started acting like a bumbling idiot and he started to move towards her and knocked over a chair, tripping on his feet and falling on his ass.

Brooke just watched as it all unraveled and she just began to laugh. Her laughter became cackles and Lucas stared at her and realized that this is what they needed to break the ice.

"Jesus, Lucas, get up. I'm hungry and I know those are Karen's mashed potatoes."

They enjoyed their dinner and Brooke even helped herself to seconds. Everything about this meal reminded her of Tree Hill and the home Lucas and Brooke had invited her into when she became…well…homeless.

"What happened with Peyton?" Brooke stared at Lucas as he was boring a hole into his plate.

"She grew impatient and tired of me obsessing over finding you."

Brooke couldn't believe this. Brooke knew that Peyton would have sold her soul to the devil if it meant Lucas would be with her forever. Brooke knew that Peyton would go to the ends of the world for him. Hell, Brooke knew she would do all that as well and more.

"You really spent and poured that much time in on finding me?"

Lucas took a deep breath and drained the rest of his wine before he spoke again.

"Brooke, I knew it was wrong to never return any of your calls. I _did_ get a little carried away with my new novel which never got published. I was traveling all over trying to find new editors, publishers, and it all fell apart the moment I learned the truth about what happened with you."

Brooke sat there trying to take all of this in and she was pretty sure it was the wine but she felt a little dizzy.

"Brooke, maybe you should go lie down. We can talk later, okay?" He rested his hand on her shoulder giving it a small squeeze of reassurance.

Brooke with the light haze of alcohol didn't care what her actions were driving her to do right now, but she leaned her head on top of his hand and started caressing it with her cheek. God, did she miss his touch, his warmth, and definitely his scent.

"Brooke?" Lucas knew this was the alcohol reacting within her and that he should stop her but he felt that this was Brooke's way of seeking comfort from him.

He wasn't there during the time of her divorce and wanted to be there for her now and always. Brooke drank another glass of wine and Lucas realized that she alone had drunk a bottle and a half.

"Brooke, I am going to put you to bed okay?" Lucas started to get up and help her to her bedroom when she stopped him.

"I will probably regret this in the morning and it's the alcohol but please…please just stay with me tonight?" She looked up into his eyes, his eyes that were changing back to their true color.

"I am staying with you tonight." He pointed towards the couch but she shook her head.

"No, stay with me in my room. Please, Lucas?" She had missed the warmth of a man's touch and the way it made her feel.

If anyone was going to be in her bed, it was going to be Lucas. He watched her, observed her body language, and when he finally looked into her eyes, he saw her sadness.

She only wanted comfort from him, something she has been missing for so long. He nodded in response to her question. She smiled at him and her eyes started to flutter. He picked her up swiftly and she fit perfectly in his arms. Her head lay against his heart as it beat steadily.

She went to tell him which room to go into but it was like magic…he knew exactly which room it would be. With her still in his arms, he reached for the sheets and pulled them back. He let himself get comfortable in the bed with Brooke. Her eyes fluttered open and there they were laying side by side staring into each other's eyes.

"Why do you hurt me so much Lucas?" She asked him terrified by the question and the answer.

The sadness washed over his face and he reached for her hand underneath the sheets.

"I, I don't know."

She closed her eyes as the tears started to escape trailing a path down her cheeks.

"Pretty girl, please don't cry. I, I honestly don't know why I ever hurt you." He removed his hand from hers and brought it to her face to wipe away the tears.

"You have no idea just how much I've missed you and wished you were there for me." The tears kept falling down her face.

"I know." Lucas was having a hard time trying to find the right words to say to her to make this all better, but you can't fix this or make it better.

"I will do whatever it takes to make all of that up to you. I love you so much, Brooke, that it drives me crazy not knowing where you are or if you're okay. How I never could have known that to begin with is just crazy to me. You are always on my mind Brooke Davis and you have never left my heart."

Brooke's eyes have been closed this entire time since he spoke and when she opened them, she thought that maybe, just maybe they were kids again back in high school.

"I love you, Brooke Davis and I want to be a part of your life again."

She knew what she was about to do is wrong but right now, in this moment, she didn't give a fuck.

She leaned in and kissed him. When her lips met his, it was like everything was on fire, a sleeping desire and passion finally awoke within her and it was alive. Julian's kisses, warmth, and touch never made her entire body feel this way. It seemed that only Lucas Scott ever made her feel this way and she thought it was impossible to find that with anybody else.

He didn't react at first because he knew they shouldn't do this. This isn't why he came here, but she wasn't making this easy on him either. He intensified the kiss letting his lips devour hers in a way he remembered doing to her before.

"Brooke, stop, please…this isn't what I came here for and we've both been drinking." He rested his hand on her shoulder to hold her back.

When her eyes opened she remembered his words and Haley's.

"_A part of me was missing and that part was always you but Brooke you are always a part of me…you're in my head, my heart, my veins."_

"_You need each other right now…Give in to him, Brooke…"_

"Lucas, give in to me." She leaned in again luring him into her.

Lucas wasn't sure what came over him but he told himself that he needed to find Brooke because he owed her so much. He knew that Peyton was his one true love, but what about his soul mate? His always and forever what his brother and best friend had with each other?

He brushed the hair from her flushed face and something inside of him burst. He remembered that feeling he got deep down in the pit of his stomach when he realized the mistake he made cheating on her with Peyton back in high school. He remembered that when she told him she was moving to California, that part of him in his core had been broken. It wasn't until he kissed her before she left that he realized that part of him was once again put back into a whole piece again. Being with her makes everything whole and right.

He ran his finger across her bottom lip and it all clicked inside of him. He remembered…

He crashed his lips upon hers, that at first it startled her. She wasn't expecting this kind of desire, this passion from him. She just figured he would give into her because she asked him, but this was something different. He actually wanted her and that began to scare her a little but she didn't want to care about that right now.

She pushed her body into his, giving him every access he needed and she wanted to give him all. His arm went around her waist pulling her further into him and if it was possible they could have passed as one being.

She let her nails scrape against his scalp as her fingers twisted in his shaggy hair. This Lucas Scott may have been older, wiser but he only reminded her of the boy she fell in love with all those years ago.

His tongue found its way deep within her mouth as she moaned his name. Brooke Davis never felt more alive than in this moment she was beginning to share with him. Her other arm rested against his broad chest and she ached to touch his flesh. Without letting her mouth leaves his, her hands snaked underneath his shirt and for a brief second their mouths had to part but once the shirt was removed, their lips found each other again. Her eyes finally opened to take in the sight of his bare chest. His chest was fuller and tighter than the last time she saw him shirtless. She could only imagine what his better half was going to look like.

Lucas opened his eyes and noticed that it wasn't fair of him to be shirtless so he reached for hers and pulled it over her head leaving her top half in just her bra. She was beautiful, more beautiful than he remembered.

Brooke turned to straddle him on the bed and they both were becoming mesmerized by each other.

"Brooke."

"Sshh." Her nails dragged slightly down his chest as she leaned in and kissed him again.

He pulled her to him and his hands found their way into her jeans as he cupped the flesh of her ass and they both shuddered at the sensation. She sat up quickly and undid her jeans and he sat up as well taking her out of them.

She started unzipping his pants and they both finally became naked. Body to body. Flesh to flesh.

With Brooke still straddling Lucas and his arms wrapped protectively and affectionately around her, he was ready for penetration but he wasn't so sure anymore if she was.

"Brooke, are you sure you want to do this? Once it's done, there's no going back." He breathed against her neck.

Her arms were wrapped so tightly around him that she thought if she let go she would perish. His fingers drew small circles on her back and she moved forward on top of him allowing an escaped purr from the bottom of his throat.

"I need you Lucas."

Just like that, his member slid firmly and comfortably inside her bringing a sensation to both of them they haven't experienced since the last time they shared this special bond. They both started breathing in sync and his thrusts became constant and quick. Brooke felt that she may not be able to hold on much longer as this was the effect Lucas had on her. She almost felt like she wasn't a part of this world anymore. He carried her to heights she's longed to have since the last time she was with him.

Her mouth managed to find his again and she kissed him and met him for every thrust sending them both over the edge together. They had reached their climax and Brooke collapsed on top of Lucas and they lay in bed tired and craving each other's comfort and love.

Lucas let his fingers glide up and down Brooke's arm as she nuzzled her face closer into his chest.

"I had just found out someone was going to invest in my children's clothing line when I found Julian in bed with another woman." Brooke felt Lucas flinch at her words and his arm around her tightened.

"I really didn't know what to think. Julian was supposed to save me, well he did save me. Then somewhere after I lost the company and he was struggling with his next movie, things just seemed different after all of that."

"I broke that same promise you know."

Brooke looked up from his chest and for a moment there she thought he was talking about cheating but the look on his face told it all.

"I was supposed to rescue you too and I let you down." Lucas looked into her gorgeous hazel eyes and tears welled up in his eyes.

"Lucas?" Brooke became heartbroken seeing this man seem so weak, vulnerable, and innocent.

"God, Brooke, I am so sorry. Believe it or not, you have always been the one person I've always hated myself for hurting, no matter what it was about. You gave me strength when I thought I had none left. You gave me hope when I thought it was lost. You gave me light when I was at my darkest. Brooke, if I could take it all away and maybe even take you away from ever meeting me maybe your life would be so much more amazing. Maybe then you would have everything you deserve and so much more." It killed Lucas to hear her words of sorrow and pain.

He reached out to touch her face and her skin was like ice. It scared him a little but then he saw the look of confusion on her face.

"I wouldn't trade any moment I ever had with you or after you for anything else in the world. Yes, I have been through a lot of heart ache and pain but I also have had so much joy and love in my life. Out of all the chaos and wreckage, I have the most amazing sons ever. Lucas, I wouldn't want to change any moment I ever had with you, let alone erase you from my life." Brooke never wished she had never met him, she just wished things had ended differently.

What if she told Lucas about Peyton revealing her feelings to her for him? What if they had never dated in the first place? What if she had moved away to California sophomore year? What if she had stayed that one night in New York with Lucas? So many what ifs, but they will never be discovered.

Lucas's tears rolled down his cheeks and Brooke reached up to wipe them away.

"Let's just get some sleep, Luke."

They had fallen asleep in each others arms.

* * *

She reached her hand to her head as it pounded furiously. She felt something heavy and warm against her skin. Her eyes opened and she saw the naked man beside her.

Brooke almost panicked but she remembered everything from the night before.

"Shit." She whispered.

She snuck out of bed, wrapped her robe around her and hurried to the phone. She knew there was a time difference but at this point she really didn't care.

"_H-hello?"_

"What the hell have you talked me into doing last night?" She whispered into the phone.

"_Why are you whispering again…what…"_

Brooke knew she was putting the pieces together in her head.

"He's in my bed, naked, right now!" She forced the end of her statement.

"_Brooke, I did NOT tell you to sleep with him! I told you to be there for him and let him talk to you and stuff." _

"You told me to give in to him and welp, Hales, I did!" Brooke kept peeking over her shoulder to make sure he wasn't up yet.

"_That's not what I meant, but I guess you could look at it that way, but, WAIT…either way, let's just say that's how my words might have come across, but how the hell or WHY the hell would you do that? You both are not ready for anything like this…how could you be so stupid!"_

Brooke knew for two reasons why Haley was yelling at her: one, because she just had her second baby and sleep is very important and two, well, this complicates things, being with Lucas always complicates things.

"We were drinking, well, I was drinking and I just kept replaying your words and his words, and I just really needed it, you know?"

"_Brooke you and I both know that you can get sex from anyone…but, Tigger, I really just don't want this to hurt either one of you. I hope you know that." _

Brooke knows that. She's always known that, that's why she always figured that was the reason for Haley pushing Lucas a little towards Peyton. That's what Brooke and Lucas do: hurt each other.

"I think I am just going to tell him it was nice and a good way for us to be there for each other and then just ask him to leave. I think he'll be okay with that."

"Okay with what?"

Brooke dropped the phone and turned to face Lucas. They both could hear Haley screaming in the background. Lucas raised his brow at Brooke as she stood pale in front of him. He reached down and grabbed the phone.

"Hey Hales, Brooke will call you back in a little bit, yes, I know, I love you too, bye." Lucas hit the end button and gave Brooke that look.

"Don't look at me that way."

"In what way Brooke?" He had his brow raised and his lips were pursed at her waiting for an answer.

"That look!" She pointed at his mouth and then his eyes.

"You always give me that look when you are disappointed in me or worse when you think you've caught me in some kind of mischief."

"Well aren't you? I get the feeling this early phone call to Hales was you regretting last night and then you actually talking to her about it." Lucas remained calm but Brooke could tell he was upset and hurt by it.

"Listen here broody, she was the one who convinced me to let you into my home and actually speak to you! You should be thanking her!" Brooke turned her back to him and walked away.

"No! Not this time!" Lucas caught up to her and spun her around.

Brooke yanked her arm from him and crossed them over her chest.

"What do you mean not this time?"

"I mean remember high school? Remember how you just showed up at my house and just broke up with me without giving me an actual reason. You can't just walk away from this one; we are going to talk about it and what it means."

Brooke's mouth dropped open and she couldn't believe him.

"First of all, I believe I gave a good damn reason why I broke up with you and second, it seemed you would have found your way into Peyton's arms either way so what difference does it make?" She stormed away from him again.

"Wow, this coming from someone who stood there on that court and asked me who do I want standing next to me hinting obviously towards Peyton."

Brooke slammed her fists onto the countertop in her kitchen as tears dared to leave her eyes. She slowly turned towards him.

"You're right, I did do that and guess what Lucas, you walked over to her; you placed your hands on her face and told her she was the one. It was like a switch. I just turned mine off and turned hers on for you. When are you going to start making your own damn decisions?! I felt I made that one for you that night on the court and then after Lindsey, it seemed that Haley made the second one for you at the Rivercourt! When are you going to grow the fuck up and make your own damn decisions, Lu—" Before she could even finish her sentence and think clearly his lips were on hers and his hands up her robe.

He placed her on the counter and his fingers found her entrance. She was completely wet and neither one of them could stop what was going to happen next even if they really wanted to. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as he assaulted her in the most passionate way possible. His fingers were sending her into a frenzy and he quickly removed his hand and thrust his dick far into her that it made her gasp.

"Who is making this decision for me now?" He hissed in her ear and she couldn't help the fire he ignited inside of her.

They lay on the floor trying to get their breathing under control. Once they did, Brooke was the first to speak.

"I don't know where you want this to go, but we are two different people now Lucas with kids of our own, I just think this will complicate things and I don't know what you want me to say."

Lucas turned on his side and faced her as one of his fingers ran down her face between her breasts and circled her belly button.

"You don't think I know that? Damn, when Hales finally told me where you were the whole drive here all these thoughts and questions were running through my mind, but did I think that this was actually going to happen? No. I also didn't plan this. I really just wanted to come and see you and make sure you were okay, because I hate that I wasn't able to do that in the first place."

Brooke knew his words were pure, but that still didn't erase the fact that he did always end up hurting her somehow.

"I know and I believe you, Lucas, but if you remember our history, it always ends up with you hurting me somehow, I don't know if my heart or soul could bear that again." Brooke started to get up and Lucas reached for her hand.

"Let's just see how the rest of the day goes, okay?"

She looked down at him and she desperately wanted to say no, but she nodded in agreement.

Lucas ended up making breakfast, they spent the day talking about their kids, and when lunch came around, there was a knock on the door.

"Who could that be?" She questioned as she remembered she was still in her robe and he was just in his boxers.

She strolled to the door and opened it revealing the one person she never wanted to see again.

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" He walked past her and into the house.

"What the hell?" She followed in behind him.

"Brooke, is everything okay?" Lucas came around the corner and the three of them stood in a triangle facing each other.

Brooke looked between the two men and felt like things were about to change for the worst.

The unwelcome stranger balled his fists up and stared the blonde down in front of him.

"Well this is interesting. How are you Lucas? How's your wife?"

"Ex-wife and it's none of your business." Lucas stepped forward as Brooke went to stand in between them.

"Don't do this, please." She begged both of them mainly Lucas.

"You know what Scott, actually it is my business if it's going to involve my two boys." Julian looked down at Brooke with sadness in his eyes.

"What's going on Brooke?" Julian asked almost heartbroken.

Brooke looked towards Lucas. Lucas nodded towards her and left the room.

"Where are they?" He demanded quietly.

"They went camping with some close friends of mine. They will be back tomorrow. What the hell are you doing here?" She couldn't get the robe to cover her up more even though there was really nothing for Julian to see.

She just felt dirty and ashamed to be around him in this vulnerable state.

"You won't return my phone calls and I miss them. Although I can see why you've been ignoring me as you play house with _him_."

"Don't!" She pointed at him now just plain angry at him.

"First of all, what Lucas and I are doing isn't wrong and like he said none of this or anything else concerning me or Lucas is your business. What you did was bring a woman into our home, our bed, and not only that, I spent time with this woman, so you don't get to stand here in _my_ house and accuse me or degrade me of anything. The boys will be home tomorrow. If you'd like to see them then, I will call you and set up a time, but for now, I'd like you to leave." She pointed towards the door and Julian still stood there.

He felt defeated and started towards the door.

"I don't know what happened to us Brooke but I never wanted it to come like this."

The tears started rolling down her cheeks as she couldn't believe he would say those words to her.

"Yeah well you should have thought about that before you fucked another woman! Now please leave!" She couldn't hold it in any longer and he finally left.

She heard Lucas shuffle down the hallway as she collapsed against him.

"How can he say that to me? I never did anything wrong to him. Why did this have to happen?" She was completely wrecked as his words got under her skin.

His words almost made her seem like their marriage falling apart was her fault.

"Brooke, you did nothing wrong. Do you hear me?" Lucas was able to grasp her face gently in his hands to make her look at him.

"He is a selfish bastard who had no right hurting you the way he did. In fact, I remember telling him just how amazing you are and that he would be a fool to not try and make things work between you two."

Brooke looked up at Lucas once more and she found herself kissing him lightly on the lips.

"Lucas, I don't want to hurt anymore." She seemed like a small child only wanting someone to love her unconditionally and constantly.

"I know pretty girl and I am going to do everything in my being to make sure that never happens again."

* * *

The next morning led to Lucas anxiously awaiting his first encounter with Jude and Davis. He wasn't sure how it was going to go, he just knew that he was desperate to finally meet them.

"Maybe this is a bad idea."

"What? Why?" Lucas turned towards her and she had this smirk on her face.

"Look at you! You are going to be more nervous than they will be and they're four. Also I don't want them thinking you're retarded." Brooke rolled her eyes at him and walked out of the room.

Lucas looked at himself in the mirror and although he shaved the beard and she shaved all the shaggy hair away, he did look like a nervous wreck.

"You know I can control myself but you calling me retarded now that just hurts my feelings." He reached for her hand and tugged her towards him.

It was something about him that made her feel like that girl back in high school. Lucas felt the butterflies in his stomach just like the ones he remembered from all those years ago when he first met her.

"We're back!"

The two young people jumped back from each other as they heard two sets of feet pounding through the house.

"Momma!" The two boys squealed together.

"Boys!" She called out as they threw their arms around their mother as Lucas watched in awe.

"Oh hi!" Melanie said as she came around the corner and noticed the stranger, handsome one at that standing next to her friend.

"Mel, boys, I would like for you to meet a friend of mine. This is Lucas and…" She knelt down so she was eye level with her sons.

"We know who you are." Jude said and Brooke became confused.

"Oh you do?" Lucas questioned.

"Yeah Aunt Haley and Uncle Nate always tell stories about you but Mama never tells us stories about you."

The two young people both flinched at the innocent children's words. Brooke never told stories about Lucas because it only hurt her too.

"Well, some of the stories your mom may have about me may not be the best ones, but I am so happy to finally meet you both." Lucas knelt down so that he was eye level with them as well.

"So is that one story true about you beating Uncle Nate at the first basketball game you played together?"

"I whooped his butt."

The two boys giggled.

The rest of the morning followed with Brooke, Lucas, the boys, Melanie and Tom having lunch together. Tom and Melanie finally got to know a little bit about the boy who used to be in Brooke's life and the man he has become. Jude and Davis were in awe of Lucas and Lucas fell in love with them.

"It was great meeting you." Tom said as he shook Lucas's hand.

"Likewise. Melanie, you do remind me an awful lot of Haley, so it's been a pleasure." He pulled Melanie in a hug that surprised both of them.

"It was nice meeting you too, maybe we'll see you around more often." She winked at Brooke who rolled her eyes.

Everyone said their goodbyes and Brooke turned to look at her sons.

"Hey, have you two been having a fun time?" She asked as the boys nodded.

"Well I have another surprise for you."

"What is it mommy?" Davis asked and Jude's eyes got big.

"Your daddy is in town and would love to spend time with you."

"YAY!" They said in unison as they ran to their rooms.

"Brooke?"

"They love you already, you know?" She turned to face him and he smiled at her.

"I think I fell in love with them the moment I saw them but what do you want Brooke?"

She looked up at him and all this just seemed right.

"I don't know, let's just see where it goes." She leaned up on her toes and kissed him gently.

Both of them not knowing that this moment was just the beginning of something that would last forever.

**END**


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